Bookworm for Kids: Review: Love Her Well by Kari Kampakis

LOVE HER WELL

10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter

by Kari Kampakis

Thomas Nelson

August 18

Self-Help/Non-Fiction

Moms are eager for tips and wisdom to help them build strong relationships with their daughters, and Kari Kampakis’s Love Her Well gives them ten practical ways to do so, not by changing their daughters but by changing their own thoughts, actions, and mind-set.

For many women, having a baby girl is a dream come true. Yet as girls grow up, the narrative of innocence and joy changes to gloom and doom as moms are told, “Just wait until she’s a teenager!” and handed a disheartening script that treats a teenage girl’s final years at home as solely a season to survive.

Author and blogger Kari Kampakis suggests it’s time to change the narrative and mind-set that lead moms to parent teen girls with a spirit of defeat, not strength. By improving the foundation, habits, and dynamics of the relationship, mothers can connect with their teen daughters and earn a voice in their lives that allows moms to offer guidance, love, wisdom, and emotional support.

As a mom of four daughters (three of whom are teenagers), Kari has learned the hard way that as girls grow up, mothers must grow up too. In Love Her Well, Kari shares ten ways that moms can better connect with their daughters in a challenging season, including:

choosing their words and timing carefully,
listening and empathizing with her teen’s world,
seeing the good and loving her for who she is,
taking care of themselves and having a support system, and more.

This book isn’t a guide to help mothers “fix” their daughters or make them behave. Rather, it’s about a mom’s journey, doing the heart work and legwork necessary to love a teenager while still being a strong, steady parent. Kari explores how every relationship consists of two imperfect sinners, and teenagers gain more respect for their parents when they admit (and learn from) their mistakes, apologize, listen, give grace, and try to understand their teens’ point of view. Yes, teenagers need rules and consequences, but without a connected relationship, parents may never gain a significant voice in their lives or be a safe place they long to return to.

By admitting her personal failures and prideful mistakes that have hurt her relationships with her teenage daughters, Kari gives mothers hope and reminds them all things are possible through God. By leaning on him, mothers gain the wisdom, guidance, protection, and clarity they need to grow strong.

Purchase Links

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MY TIDBITS

With lots of heart and from the Christian viewpoint, this book swirls through the unpredictable sea of the mother-daughter relationship.

The author has four daughters herself and uses her own experiences to discuss and give a glimpse into various aspects of the mother-daughter relationship. While advice is offered, the author makes it clear that she does make mistakes and what she now believes to be wisdom might not be that after all. It's a honest and candid look at how to get along with teenage girls from her point of view.

The book starts out with a note from the author before diving into ten chapters. Each chapter covers a topic ranging from 'Choose your words carefully' to 'help her find good friends' and other basic themes. Each of these chapters is then further divided into more direct themes of a couple pages each. A Bible verse closes each of these. At the end of every one of the 10 themes, there are questions, which assist with self-reflection and thought about what was discussed.

As a mother of one teen girl and one already in her twenties, the advice is solid and pretty much, common sense. The Christian viewpoint resonates with me, but that will vary from one person to the next. This isn't a book, which has all of the answers, but rather helps with self-reflection and simply shows how the author handles situations or explores the mistakes she herself has made.

Parents, who would like to hear and learn about how another mother deals with her teen daughters, will find some food for thought in these pages and never feel as if they are in a classroom. The entire book feels more like the heart-to-heart with a good friend. And sometimes, that's all it takes.